We have all seen the scene in the movie when a man and a woman become overwhelmed with passion, and they find themselves in a hurried embrace that leads to steamy, spontaneous sex. Those moments are erotic, but for committed couples, impromptu sex doesn’t often materialize. That doesn’t mean your sex life has to suffer on the contrary. Rather than waiting for impassioned desire, decide to learn the art and pleasure of sex. In doing so, you’ll improve your relationship and your overall health and wellbeing.

With our smartphones constantly at our command, it is challenging to get our undivided attention. At any given moment, we might be responding to a pressing email, reading a disturbing headline, or locked in an addictive video game. We are running our own individual movie in our minds and balancing competing desires throughout the day. Part of ourselves may want to watch TV; the other part may want to go to sleep. Our partner also has their own story running throughout the day. So it is not very likely that your partner’s mind and body are ready for sex at the same time as you. Since this is the case, it is helpful to plan your sexual rendezvous. In doing so, you and your partner can intentionally prepare and anticipate.

Schedule an indoor date. For example, set time aside on Friday night to be intimate. If you have children give them extra screen time so you can have alone time. Lock your bedroom door and luxuriate in each other. What your indoor date entails can vary from date to date. To get some ideas, view my earlier blog on creating an erotic menu. Plan an evening that includes activities that you both desire. In the planning process, you can learn about yourself and your partner, your turn-ons and turn-offs, and particular fantasies.

Another approach is the 72-hour date. No, it’s not a date that lasts 72 hours, although that would be nice. Instead, you let your partner know you are interested in having sex, and then you plan on having sex 72 hours later. Anticipation builds and allows you both to prepare to be intimate. Sometimes this approach elevates the pressure of having sex immediately.

Sex therapist, Amy Color, recommends using a candy dish to communicate sexual interest. You place an M&M in a bowl to let your partner know you are interested in some sugar, meaning sex. Different types of candy represent desired sexual acts. Have fun with your partner as you match up candy with your favorite turn-ons.

Life without sex becomes withered, tired, and drained. The joie de vivre is lost. Without sex, life becomes mechanical and boring. Sex brings the spring. It is the breath of the relationship and gives it life and dimension. It creates energy and excitement rather than resentment and indifference. In a landmark relationship study, researchers found that sexual satisfaction was one of the main components that predicted a person’s happiness in their partnership. When you give yourself to your partner, you solidify your bond. You fulfill the relationship pack and fully show up. Your brain registers each positive interaction you have with your partner reprogramming you for pleasure.

Sexual intimacy allows you to discover more about yourself and your partner and experience ecstasy in the process. It produces the euphoric high of exercising because orgasms release endorphins and give you a sense of wellbeing. There are several health benefits to having sex. It boosts the immune system, strengthens the heart, and produces a calming effect that is more effective than Valium. It also increases your libido. When you have sex, you want more sex. Sex can help you release stress and help you sleep.

Prioritize your intimacy and plan indoor dates. Cultivate a Yes attitude around sex and your health, and your relationship will benefit. Determine that sex is a valuable and vital part of your partnership and schedule your intimacy. Indoor dates will bring the spark into your relationship, and you’ll feel younger and more vibrant. Remember check out some indoor date ideas here. Enjoy!